TLC Tutorial: Alliteration for the dyslexic and/or Nintendo DS addict

Mood: Feeling fine for a Friday
Currently listening to: Carrrrd Captor Sakura OST... UPSKIRT TRANSFORMATION SEQUENCE GOGOGO!

Remember high school English? Remember how the teachers would use jargon like "discourse" and "allegory" and "J to da Bizzinks" to get their point across? Just like the teacher's pet, or the class clown, the class mime, or the lowlife loser who sat in the back corner rolling joints, nobody ever got what those words meant. But today, we're going to dispell all doubts regarding alliteration.

Abnormally absurd amounts of A-words arranged adjacent to a (Alliteration: 10/10, Grammatical correctness: 2/10)... er... Sweet Saintly salesmen of strawberry shortcake, that is hard! As you can see, alliteration is simple - if you have a Masters degree in Environmental Planning or a thesaurus nearby.

The art of "alliterating" was first founded by none other than a stuttering hobo named Wurd Smith. Wurd was just chattin' to his homies one day at the bus stop and he said something like, "Yo, yo, ya-liek ya-comin' to yur yacht!?" Linguists have analysed this to be a display of ebonics, but experts have since proved that false. And no, contrary to popular belief, the word "wurd" is not named after Mr Smith, but it is actually a Russian brand of male deoderant with the aroma of the Moscow subway.

Note that alliteration and tongue-twisters are too different things. We have no idea what tongue-twisters are, so we can't really explain that to you, so let us move onto the main body of the tutorial:

How to alliterate
Each person will develop their own style of alliterating, so don't think there is any sure way to follow. A unique style of alliteration will score you extra points at the end of the round, but if your alliteration starts lagging or become sluggish, you may incur the FAILED rating.

We're just going to provide a few examples to get you started in the art of alliteration.

Gangsta Rapper: "Yo f*&^% f&^% yo f*&^%ing f*&% f*%%ing f*&^ed f*^%!"

Primary school English teacher: "She sells sea shells by the sea shore."

Nintendo DS addict: "Pika pika pika pikachuuuuuuuu pika pi!"

**quit post to go pplay pianoooo wheeeeeeeeee