Mood: Eh?
Currently listening to: Nothing
http://www.news.com.au/entertainment/story/0,23663,20834570-10229,00.html
Naomi Robson, Naomi Schmobson. Today is a great day for journalism. I dare say, every man, woman and child has been waiting for this news article since I don't know when. There is little doubt that a sick horse would make a better current affairs host than this woman.
Tata. I must continue work. Cheers to crappy journalism.
28 November, 2006
There is no C in Naomi Robson
24 November, 2006
There is no C in Gaia Online
Mood: Guilty
Currently listening to: Nothing
I feel extremely sads. Like, we're talking 10 sads here. More on that later. It is too deep to go on a blog of this nature and would like totally blow the world to pieces if I were to elaborate!
Let us examine the Wikipedia article for Gaia Online. Wikipedia is officially "on the rocks" and I no longer consider it a reliable source of information. But anyhow, let's read it and laugh at it!
Now, just from reading that gibberish, Wikipedia makes several things clear to the reader:
Currently listening to: Nothing
I feel extremely sads. Like, we're talking 10 sads here. More on that later. It is too deep to go on a blog of this nature and would like totally blow the world to pieces if I were to elaborate!
Let us examine the Wikipedia article for Gaia Online. Wikipedia is officially "on the rocks" and I no longer consider it a reliable source of information. But anyhow, let's read it and laugh at it!
Gaia Online is an anime and games site. It was opened to the public on February 18, 2003 by Gaia Interactive, a group earlier known as AniHQ, consisting of Derek Liu and some of his business partners.
Users of the site, known as Gaians, are able to create a customizable avatar, for which they can purchase outfits using gaia gold, which is earned by browsing the site, playing games, and posting on the forums.As the site is free, there are some ways the administrators have set up to gain revenue - these include Gaia-themed posters, shirts and hats. They also give donors
in-game rewards of limited-edition gifts.
Now, just from reading that gibberish, Wikipedia makes several things clear to the reader:
- Gaia online is an anime and games site.
- Users of the site are known as Gaians.
- Gaians are able to create a customizable (spelt with a 'z', clearly American) avatar.
- Gaians can purchase outfits using gaia gold.
- Gaia gold is earned by browsing the site, playing games, and posting on the forums.
- The site is free.
- They give donors in-game rewards of limited-edition gifts.
All of this sounds strangely familiar doesn't it? Yes, it would appear that all of the following "RPG fads" also have these very same features: Ragnarok Online, AdventureQuest, MapleStory, Gunbound, MapleQuest, Adventurebound, MapleStory Online, Gaiabound, Final Fantastory, RPG Clone 42, Final Fantasy Online: We are serious about Final this time, Final Fantasy Online: Sorry consumer but we lied to you, and last but not least, Myspace.
Additionally, I think that to describe Gaia Online as an "anime and games site" is rather vague. It is in fact a forum that is 90% desperate geeks, and 10% girls who just want to have fun and make friends. Not only that, but you can also play horribly presented Flash games. I was coaxed into going fishing by some stupid popup speech bubble. And when you see the room listing (reminiscent of Yahoo! Games), only then will you begin to realize the sheer level of geekery that exists in Gaia Online. People are generally nice, but every now and then you will see a glimpse of the dark underground of the internets and meet the most dangerous type of geek: the zombie geek. These geeks have been around since the very beginning of the internets and lurked for many years until Gaia Online opened up. Then they joined up, but were very bad mannered so they got banned, but then they returned by changing their IP address. Hence the title of "zombie".
Zombie geeks get a natural -4 to their charisma and immunity to bannings of any sort or length. They have stiff limbs and take x4 damage from sunlight. Zombie geeks start in the city of Homepage.html, and can speak every language on the internets except for coherent English. Their class leader is the Umbrella Man and they belong to the Whorde faction. Now, you must select your hairstyle, then your adventure can begin!
NOTE: I HAVE ALREADY BEEN HIT ON ALREADY. THIS IS CRAZY. IT'S ONLY DAY 3 AND THE CURSE OF THE FEMALE AVATAR IS ALREADY SHOWING. WELL, I MEAN, I DO LOOK REAL SEXY, BUT... I DIDN'T EXPECT THIS! OH, SAVE ME FROM THE HORDES OF DESPERATE GEEKS, SAVE ME!!! I DIDN'T CHOOSE TO BE A LOLITA JAPANESE SCHOOLGIRL, I PROMISE!
23 November, 2006
TLC puts the C in Twilight Princess
Mood: Bored
Currently listening to: The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya - Hare Hare Yukai
**NOTE: From now on, reference links may or may not redirect to Wikipedia because Uncyclopedia and Encyclopedia Dramatica are clearly better and more crude and contain an infinitely higher level of satirical content. In order to fully appreciate this surprise change of protocol, my dear reader, you will have to mouseover the links to see where they go, or just click them all and see where you go.
As we all know, The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess was released several days ago in North America for the Nintendo Wii. Many uglie nerds sold everything they owned to line up at their local game store to line up and be one of the first people in the world to obtain this epic RPG title.
This is a common spectacle and is known as the Desperate Nerd Addiction Effect, not to be confused with that "other" desperate nerd addiction effect. It was first observed by video game kiosk owner Kyon Koizumi back in 1997 at the release of Final Fantasy VII (Warning: this is not a Wikipedia link and may contain extreme satire sprinkled with sick and tasteless jokes). Other video game kiosk owners in Japan began to add their findings to the Japanese Otaku Surveillance Activity Journal (Article not found). The "DNA" effect was reported to have occurred at the release of Final Fantasy VIII, IX, X, XII, XIII, Fanta Finalsy Revolution, Final Pacmantasy, Final Fantacraft IV, World of Final Fantacraft and has also been predicted to occur in its most severe form ever when the Playstation 3 is released. It should be noted that almost nobody turned up on the day of Final Fantasy XI's release, simply because it sucked and was the worst RPG ever released for a console. Yes, even worse than that really sucky one. You know the one I mean.
Professor Ukato Desho from Kwansei Gakuin University commented in his annual report in 2005, "This is nothing special and happens all the time everywhere in the world. However, I find it startling that white people, especially Americans, could emulate the otaku stereotype that was previously thought to only exist in Japan. Many of my colleagues find this to be an alarming precedence but think that it is funny. Nobody would have guessed that uglie nerds would dare show their faces in public for the purpose of obtaining a video game on its release date. You would think that they could wait until the hype dies down. I mean, if I were in their position, I would rather wait a little while so that nobody would see me go to the store. Wouldn't you?" Yes Professor, I certainly would.
Currently listening to: The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya - Hare Hare Yukai
**NOTE: From now on, reference links may or may not redirect to Wikipedia because Uncyclopedia and Encyclopedia Dramatica are clearly better and more crude and contain an infinitely higher level of satirical content. In order to fully appreciate this surprise change of protocol, my dear reader, you will have to mouseover the links to see where they go, or just click them all and see where you go.
As we all know, The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess was released several days ago in North America for the Nintendo Wii. Many uglie nerds sold everything they owned to line up at their local game store to line up and be one of the first people in the world to obtain this epic RPG title.
This is a common spectacle and is known as the Desperate Nerd Addiction Effect, not to be confused with that "other" desperate nerd addiction effect. It was first observed by video game kiosk owner Kyon Koizumi back in 1997 at the release of Final Fantasy VII (Warning: this is not a Wikipedia link and may contain extreme satire sprinkled with sick and tasteless jokes). Other video game kiosk owners in Japan began to add their findings to the Japanese Otaku Surveillance Activity Journal (Article not found). The "DNA" effect was reported to have occurred at the release of Final Fantasy VIII, IX, X, XII, XIII, Fanta Finalsy Revolution, Final Pacmantasy, Final Fantacraft IV, World of Final Fantacraft and has also been predicted to occur in its most severe form ever when the Playstation 3 is released. It should be noted that almost nobody turned up on the day of Final Fantasy XI's release, simply because it sucked and was the worst RPG ever released for a console. Yes, even worse than that really sucky one. You know the one I mean.
Professor Ukato Desho from Kwansei Gakuin University commented in his annual report in 2005, "This is nothing special and happens all the time everywhere in the world. However, I find it startling that white people, especially Americans, could emulate the otaku stereotype that was previously thought to only exist in Japan. Many of my colleagues find this to be an alarming precedence but think that it is funny. Nobody would have guessed that uglie nerds would dare show their faces in public for the purpose of obtaining a video game on its release date. You would think that they could wait until the hype dies down. I mean, if I were in their position, I would rather wait a little while so that nobody would see me go to the store. Wouldn't you?" Yes Professor, I certainly would.
In conclusion, I label this post with about a 5% relevance to Twilight Princess and a 95% relevance to absolute garbage, and a neverbefore witnessed 110% to uglie nerds. I sign out cuz my satire is on the rocks and has begun its rapid decline into Unfunnyville, the neighbouring suburb of Unsatiricalville. Heck, I don't even know what the hell I just wrote.
20 November, 2006
TLC puts the C in Melancholy
Mood: Lovesick
Currently listening to: Arctic Monkeys - Mardy Bum
Wallpapers I made from The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi:
15 November, 2006
C is for Cosplay
Mood: Probably artistic
Currently listening to: Probably something by Jay Chou
"Disgrace to the Uchiha Clan", the repost.
11 November, 2006
C is for Chopin
Mood: Elated
Currently listening to: All 7 of Jay Chou's albums
Today, out of nowhere, I spawned an obsession for The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, a real zany anime series. And thus, went on Youtube searching "haruhi" and watched cool vids, just like any otaku would have. Being the real piano enthusiast that I am (or was), I was so inspired by what I saw that I decided to come out of retirement. Nobody actually knew, but I decided about a month back that I wanted to quit piano because I felt that I had "been there, done that". What arrogance you say! I was slowly losing my interest in piano, which was probably a symptom of wanting to go "legit" with music. So, as a warning, don't delete your mp3s! (No, you should, but... er...)
As a result, I decided that during this holidays, though I had originally planned to tear into my bass, I, Charles Wong (Wikipedia: Article not found), will not only be doing that but also realizing my full potential as a piano player and record myself playing all of Jay Chou's greatest hits and upload them onto Youtube. Yes, read that sentence again if you thought you were dreaming. If, by overdose of an illegal substance, or by chance, you were actually dreaming, I am going to make it real.
I know, I know, this is every Asian girl's dream come true.
And Blogger is so nice to me. They gave me tags! Hurray for great justice! Finally, this rules out any chance of me ever returning to MSN Spaces or considering LiveJournal. WHEEEEEE GEEK LOVE!
*EDIT: Video #1 is now available on Youtube. Here it is:
Jay Chou's 发如雪 (Hair Like Snow) on piano
07 November, 2006
C is for Children of Men
Mood: Moody
Currently listening to: Bernard Fanning - Watch Over Me
Children of Men is a 2006 dystopian thriller film directed by Alfonso Cuaron. Children of Men is based on P.D. James's novel The Children of Men and stars Clive Owen, Julianne Moore and Michael Caine. Set in 2027 where no human child has been born for 18 years and science is at a loss to explain why, Children of Men envisions a world that has fallen into chaos as humankind faces the threat of its own extinction. (Directly stolen from Wikipedia's article on Children of Men)
Today, I went and saw Children of Men. It was a great film, and though I am a serious-movie fan, I do not have the highest regard for thrillers. Alfonso Cuaron had used the story very well to bring a lot of suspense to his audience. I honestly could not find anything I did not like about the film. Cuaron managed to keep me in wonder at the fragility of mankind and at the edge of my seat at the same time. The film moved me to tears and I feel it is a shame that not many people noticed this film when it was released. Children of Men can be found presenting humanity in a very "real" way and Cuaron uses this to his advantage, making it possible for the audience to believe in such a possible future.
A lot of the story is told through the images on screen, while character development is more associated with interaction between different characters and occuring events. The MA rating is accurately reflected by the large number of disturbing images and use of profanity. Children of Men is great for movie enthusiasts who like to notice minor visual details. The images are mostly very grey and reflect the setting of the story. Cuaron's camerawork is amazing and it can be clearly seen that he had put real effort into making the film feel alive and believable.
The contrast in music used in the film is effective in illustrating the difference between the old times and the dystopian future. Certain thrill scenes have high volume for shock effect and there is also the interesting alternation of volume from indoors and outdoors, that rather than being a soundtrack being played in the background, Cuaron makes it seem as though the music is being played within the movie setting itself.
People have claimed that Cuaron "broke the fourth wall" in Children of Men. I do slightly agree, but without spoiling anything, I actually propose that the technique he used, if anything, turned Children of Men into a documentary from a film at that point, in which the reality of this future completely came into full view. Children of Men is a very real film, and Cuaron has beautifully directed this piece of dystopian fiction. For sad-film/serious-film fans, I do recommend.
Currently listening to: Bernard Fanning - Watch Over Me
Children of Men is a 2006 dystopian thriller film directed by Alfonso Cuaron. Children of Men is based on P.D. James's novel The Children of Men and stars Clive Owen, Julianne Moore and Michael Caine. Set in 2027 where no human child has been born for 18 years and science is at a loss to explain why, Children of Men envisions a world that has fallen into chaos as humankind faces the threat of its own extinction. (Directly stolen from Wikipedia's article on Children of Men)Today, I went and saw Children of Men. It was a great film, and though I am a serious-movie fan, I do not have the highest regard for thrillers. Alfonso Cuaron had used the story very well to bring a lot of suspense to his audience. I honestly could not find anything I did not like about the film. Cuaron managed to keep me in wonder at the fragility of mankind and at the edge of my seat at the same time. The film moved me to tears and I feel it is a shame that not many people noticed this film when it was released. Children of Men can be found presenting humanity in a very "real" way and Cuaron uses this to his advantage, making it possible for the audience to believe in such a possible future.
A lot of the story is told through the images on screen, while character development is more associated with interaction between different characters and occuring events. The MA rating is accurately reflected by the large number of disturbing images and use of profanity. Children of Men is great for movie enthusiasts who like to notice minor visual details. The images are mostly very grey and reflect the setting of the story. Cuaron's camerawork is amazing and it can be clearly seen that he had put real effort into making the film feel alive and believable.
The contrast in music used in the film is effective in illustrating the difference between the old times and the dystopian future. Certain thrill scenes have high volume for shock effect and there is also the interesting alternation of volume from indoors and outdoors, that rather than being a soundtrack being played in the background, Cuaron makes it seem as though the music is being played within the movie setting itself.
People have claimed that Cuaron "broke the fourth wall" in Children of Men. I do slightly agree, but without spoiling anything, I actually propose that the technique he used, if anything, turned Children of Men into a documentary from a film at that point, in which the reality of this future completely came into full view. Children of Men is a very real film, and Cuaron has beautifully directed this piece of dystopian fiction. For sad-film/serious-film fans, I do recommend.
05 November, 2006
TLC puts the C in Magic: The Gathering
Mood: Tired
Currently listening to: Sinead O'Connor - Nothing Compares 2 U
Adam Wells would be proud.
01 November, 2006
TLC puts the C in Pac-Man
Mood: Not in the mood to study
Currently listening to: Radiohead - Creep
Dear reader, you may have noticed that the post title theme has taken a different turn. Yes, you've guessed it. In accordance to the Nerdy and Undereducated Newsreporters Society's (NUNS) code of ethics, never in my entire career as a journalist, whether I be pseudo, cadet, or retired am I allowed to write anywhere that the letter C stands for a word that does not begin with the letter C. I am, however, not prohibited by the NUNS to violate trademarking and copyright by turning my blog name into an acronym which also happens to stand for at least another 15 different things (Wikipedia: TLC). And from now on, along with the standard citing of reliable sources, Wikipedia articles will be linked when necessary and have been coded to open in a new window for your convenience. Thankyou for taking the time to read this introductory paragraph unrelated to Pac-Man.
In the summer of 1969, 4 years after Richard Gere was caught on camera enjoying a green tea icecream from a Shinjuku noodle bar, a famous Japanese performer by the name of Suzuki Paku(Wikipedia: Article not found) was filming an advertisement for a brand of Japanese pancakes on the streets of Akihabara. Suzuki was an avid supporter of the electronic gaming industry and despite the manager of the advertising company insisting that the commercial be filmed in nearby Ikebukuro, Suzuki was eagerly awaiting the release of Dragon Quest: Origins and had camped outside Go Go Game the night before, a variety game store that closed for renovation in the early 1990s. To this day, it still has not reopened for business. Otaku in the neighbourhood rumour that the shop is haunted and there is a "real" game of Resident Evil happening inside.
On that very day, 15 April, 1969, Suzuki was inspired to take the pancake phenomenon further and shortly after he told the camera crew of his vision, they told him of a gypsy only known as Namuko-sama and that he should seek this gypsy out. As the gender of Namuko-sama was unknown at the time, the usage of a pronoun co-referenced with Namuko-sama in the previous sentence would have created ambiguity and was ommitted for semantic purposes. It took Suzuki 8 years to find this enigmatic gypsy and then another 2 years for Namuko-sama, who is actually better known as Namco, the creator of retro classics such as Galaga.
Pac-Man has indeed come a long way, working his way into other gaming genres with spinoffs like SixPac-Man, IcePac-Man, JetPac-Man, WolfPac-Man, LeaderOfThePac-Man (Wikipedia: Articles not found), and the ever-controversial, TuPac-Man. For legal reasons, TLC cannot provide a link to the Wikipedia article for the Pac-Man spinoff TuPac-Man. TLC's lawyers maintain that it would be unwise to claim any affiliation with American poet Tupac Shakur, in the event that he was still alive. Namco also worked with Blizzard Entertainment in producing StimPac-Man, which was a Starcraft/Pac-Man crossover in which your Terran Marine would be chased by Zerglings (instead of Ghosts) around the maze. Some fans found it a bit quaint that Namco helped promote tourism to regions of South Asia with the release of Pacistan (Pronounced [paːkɪst̪aːn]) .
And today, as gamers in their 50s reflect back on the days of retro gaming, Pac-Man will undoubtedly be considered one of their all-time favourites (Game Addicted Youths' Binary Omnibus, 2005) alongside Tetris and Street Fighter II. The older members of Generation Y may also have had the chance to appreciate the great gaming experience that is Pac-Man. May the legend of the Japanese pancake be more than just a memory and live strong in the hearts of all ugly, lifeless nerds.
*DISCLAIMER: Although the Wikipedia article for Pac-Man clearly states that Pac-Man was a character invented by a Namco employee named Iwatani Toru, a very reliable source informed TLC long ago that this article has been heavily vandalised by satirists in an act of what we call, "Trying hard to be funny but failing miserably". As such, TLC maintains that the version of events recorded on this blog are more authentic than Michael Jackson's nose. In addition, TLC sends their sincere condolences to any fans of Tupac Shakur who were offended by the untasteful joking of his mortality. TLC's lawyers have been paid a sum to sign a total of 2 documents and nothing more. Should full charges be pressed against the letter C , um... well, we actually haven't thought that far ahead yet.
Currently listening to: Radiohead - Creep
Dear reader, you may have noticed that the post title theme has taken a different turn. Yes, you've guessed it. In accordance to the Nerdy and Undereducated Newsreporters Society's (NUNS) code of ethics, never in my entire career as a journalist, whether I be pseudo, cadet, or retired am I allowed to write anywhere that the letter C stands for a word that does not begin with the letter C. I am, however, not prohibited by the NUNS to violate trademarking and copyright by turning my blog name into an acronym which also happens to stand for at least another 15 different things (Wikipedia: TLC). And from now on, along with the standard citing of reliable sources, Wikipedia articles will be linked when necessary and have been coded to open in a new window for your convenience. Thankyou for taking the time to read this introductory paragraph unrelated to Pac-Man.
In the summer of 1969, 4 years after Richard Gere was caught on camera enjoying a green tea icecream from a Shinjuku noodle bar, a famous Japanese performer by the name of Suzuki Paku(Wikipedia: Article not found) was filming an advertisement for a brand of Japanese pancakes on the streets of Akihabara. Suzuki was an avid supporter of the electronic gaming industry and despite the manager of the advertising company insisting that the commercial be filmed in nearby Ikebukuro, Suzuki was eagerly awaiting the release of Dragon Quest: Origins and had camped outside Go Go Game the night before, a variety game store that closed for renovation in the early 1990s. To this day, it still has not reopened for business. Otaku in the neighbourhood rumour that the shop is haunted and there is a "real" game of Resident Evil happening inside.
On that very day, 15 April, 1969, Suzuki was inspired to take the pancake phenomenon further and shortly after he told the camera crew of his vision, they told him of a gypsy only known as Namuko-sama and that he should seek this gypsy out. As the gender of Namuko-sama was unknown at the time, the usage of a pronoun co-referenced with Namuko-sama in the previous sentence would have created ambiguity and was ommitted for semantic purposes. It took Suzuki 8 years to find this enigmatic gypsy and then another 2 years for Namuko-sama, who is actually better known as Namco, the creator of retro classics such as Galaga.Pac-Man has indeed come a long way, working his way into other gaming genres with spinoffs like SixPac-Man, IcePac-Man, JetPac-Man, WolfPac-Man, LeaderOfThePac-Man (Wikipedia: Articles not found), and the ever-controversial, TuPac-Man. For legal reasons, TLC cannot provide a link to the Wikipedia article for the Pac-Man spinoff TuPac-Man. TLC's lawyers maintain that it would be unwise to claim any affiliation with American poet Tupac Shakur, in the event that he was still alive. Namco also worked with Blizzard Entertainment in producing StimPac-Man, which was a Starcraft/Pac-Man crossover in which your Terran Marine would be chased by Zerglings (instead of Ghosts) around the maze. Some fans found it a bit quaint that Namco helped promote tourism to regions of South Asia with the release of Pacistan (Pronounced [paːkɪst̪aːn]) .
And today, as gamers in their 50s reflect back on the days of retro gaming, Pac-Man will undoubtedly be considered one of their all-time favourites (Game Addicted Youths' Binary Omnibus, 2005) alongside Tetris and Street Fighter II. The older members of Generation Y may also have had the chance to appreciate the great gaming experience that is Pac-Man. May the legend of the Japanese pancake be more than just a memory and live strong in the hearts of all ugly, lifeless nerds.
*DISCLAIMER: Although the Wikipedia article for Pac-Man clearly states that Pac-Man was a character invented by a Namco employee named Iwatani Toru, a very reliable source informed TLC long ago that this article has been heavily vandalised by satirists in an act of what we call, "Trying hard to be funny but failing miserably". As such, TLC maintains that the version of events recorded on this blog are more authentic than Michael Jackson's nose. In addition, TLC sends their sincere condolences to any fans of Tupac Shakur who were offended by the untasteful joking of his mortality. TLC's lawyers have been paid a sum to sign a total of 2 documents and nothing more. Should full charges be pressed against the letter C , um... well, we actually haven't thought that far ahead yet.
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