Mood: ?:/
Currently listening to: Nothing, but a ice-cream truck just went down the road
Last Thursday, Nintendo's secret weapon, the Wii was unveiled upon Australia and did a very just thing to suck $400+ AUD out of the wallet of every parent and child that bought into this new console. Already, critics are debating whether the Wii will be the console to end all console wars or just Nintendo's next counter-attack to their biggest rival Sony. Since Microsoft entered the console war and redefined the meaning of 'huge' with the big black brick known as the XBox, things have been looking a lot like the Romance of the Three Kingdoms in the console gaming industry.
*Note: A picture of the XBox could not be shown as it would be way too big and you would need a 200" monitor to see it. We apologize for this inconvenience.
Many gamers are speculating if the following of the Nintendo Wii will actually become a religion (ie. Wiiism with three i's), or just another ignored cult (eg. Halo Fanboys) or if Wii is actually the devil incarnate hiding within that harmless looking white shell. Leader of the Wiiist Movement, Andy Ess, commented, "The Nintendo Wii is the greatest console ever and Nintendo is the best and we loooooooove Pokemon!" Immediately following this interview, I had my associate pick up an empty Wii box and threw it on the ground and drive a car over it. Over 80% of the Wiiists who watched this horrible act of lunacy had to be admitted to hospital because of shock. The other 20% ran away to "call for reinforcements".
Now, I saw my fair share of pre-Wii excitement and criticism from both the gaming and non-gaming community. Remember the Nintendo Dolphin? No you don't but just pretend you do. When Nintendo revealed that their latest console was to be called the Nintendo Wii, people were shocked and threatened to boycott the next Pokemon Championship held on Planet Nintendo. People weren't sure whether it was a joke or whether Nintendo was planning to really release a console with such an absurd name. Some were even saying sick and tasteless speculations like, "I bet the Nintendo Puu is next." I, as a student of journalism and slave of satire, am here to dispel all doubt and clear everything up on Nintendo's behalf. Yes, on Nintendo's very own behalf.
Contrary to popular belief, "Wii" is not pronounced [wee]. It is actually pronounced [wai] as in 'why'. Seriously, I got this information from Nintendo's director, Bowser the turtle-shell dinosaur, distant relative of Barney the purple dinosaur. This means that people who've been calling the controller a "Wiimote", vaguely rhyming it with 'remote' have been totally wrong. It's a damn [waimote], get it right. And not only that, Nintendo's marketting expertise is really shown in the name of their new product. When people ask each other, "Why wouldn't you get a Wii?" and they pronounce Wii correctly, they would have said 'why' twice in the same sentence and when people hear this they will just laugh and go "Why wouldn't you get a Wii? Ha, ha, ha." and this is surely to become one of the great memes of all time. This just reminds me of the time when Final Fantasy X was released and people weren't sure if Tidus was pronounced [teedus] or [taidus]. It really brings me back and brings a tear dripping down my emo glasses.
Your local Nintendo correspondent,
Cii Wong (in this instance, it is more correct to pronounce my name as [see], not [sai])
Currently listening to: Nothing, but a ice-cream truck just went down the road
Last Thursday, Nintendo's secret weapon, the Wii was unveiled upon Australia and did a very just thing to suck $400+ AUD out of the wallet of every parent and child that bought into this new console. Already, critics are debating whether the Wii will be the console to end all console wars or just Nintendo's next counter-attack to their biggest rival Sony. Since Microsoft entered the console war and redefined the meaning of 'huge' with the big black brick known as the XBox, things have been looking a lot like the Romance of the Three Kingdoms in the console gaming industry.*Note: A picture of the XBox could not be shown as it would be way too big and you would need a 200" monitor to see it. We apologize for this inconvenience.
Many gamers are speculating if the following of the Nintendo Wii will actually become a religion (ie. Wiiism with three i's), or just another ignored cult (eg. Halo Fanboys) or if Wii is actually the devil incarnate hiding within that harmless looking white shell. Leader of the Wiiist Movement, Andy Ess, commented, "The Nintendo Wii is the greatest console ever and Nintendo is the best and we loooooooove Pokemon!" Immediately following this interview, I had my associate pick up an empty Wii box and threw it on the ground and drive a car over it. Over 80% of the Wiiists who watched this horrible act of lunacy had to be admitted to hospital because of shock. The other 20% ran away to "call for reinforcements".
Now, I saw my fair share of pre-Wii excitement and criticism from both the gaming and non-gaming community. Remember the Nintendo Dolphin? No you don't but just pretend you do. When Nintendo revealed that their latest console was to be called the Nintendo Wii, people were shocked and threatened to boycott the next Pokemon Championship held on Planet Nintendo. People weren't sure whether it was a joke or whether Nintendo was planning to really release a console with such an absurd name. Some were even saying sick and tasteless speculations like, "I bet the Nintendo Puu is next." I, as a student of journalism and slave of satire, am here to dispel all doubt and clear everything up on Nintendo's behalf. Yes, on Nintendo's very own behalf.
Contrary to popular belief, "Wii" is not pronounced [wee]. It is actually pronounced [wai] as in 'why'. Seriously, I got this information from Nintendo's director, Bowser the turtle-shell dinosaur, distant relative of Barney the purple dinosaur. This means that people who've been calling the controller a "Wiimote", vaguely rhyming it with 'remote' have been totally wrong. It's a damn [waimote], get it right. And not only that, Nintendo's marketting expertise is really shown in the name of their new product. When people ask each other, "Why wouldn't you get a Wii?" and they pronounce Wii correctly, they would have said 'why' twice in the same sentence and when people hear this they will just laugh and go "Why wouldn't you get a Wii? Ha, ha, ha." and this is surely to become one of the great memes of all time. This just reminds me of the time when Final Fantasy X was released and people weren't sure if Tidus was pronounced [teedus] or [taidus]. It really brings me back and brings a tear dripping down my emo glasses.Your local Nintendo correspondent,
Cii Wong (in this instance, it is more correct to pronounce my name as [see], not [sai])
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