There is no C in Twenty

Ah, the fifth life crisis (assuming I live to be a hundred years old) is an epic event in most cultures but does not come close to the epicness of the twenty-first birthday. Twentieths are best celebrated with 20 hours on World of Warcraft, whether by yourself or with "girls" you met while on a quest. In the day and age of Internet sexual predation (right word?), it would be most unwise to ask for cyber secks because you might just be speaking with an undercover FBI agent posing as a Night Elf. Pesky alliance!

Inevitably, the birthday boy or girl will most definitely be against the idea of singing Happy Birthday, arguably one of the worst tunes in all of mankind. Bound to make the star of the night as red of a tomato, it is actually a very good form of anti-boner, especially with that frisky Asian boy sitting across from you. The hilarity that may insue from this singing could range from a chair being thrown around, or, perhaps a much more foolproof method, namely pressing full charges.

One of history's most famous twentieth birthdays include Google's. Sir Webley Google, overlord of the Internet search engines went for a night out at the town, enjoying alcohol and inappropriate jokes about how MSN's shares have been losing their value and how nobody thinks of asking Jeeves anymore. For our readers information: Jeeves was actually slain in 2002 in a car "accident", by a colourful Volkswagen Beetle with the number plate "GOOGLE". Very subtle. That very night Google also broke 2 world records: firstly for the Most Number of Hookers Hired for Service in 1 hour, and for First Joke about a Search Engine not related to Google.

Of course, when it comes to choosing a gift, this is always a hard decision, even if you are the reincarnation of Albert Einstein. In almost all situations, buying an XBox for the birthday boy or girl is considered bad form. Flowers, chocolates, clothes, hair dryers, electric pencil sharpeners, self-help books, iPod carry cases and non-alcoholic champagne have made the list of 2007's corniest birthday gifts. It is also the very reason most of these items are no longer popular.

Remember the golden rule friends: Cosmetic surgery can make you look young if you age too quickly.