TLC puts the C in Slashfiction

According to LIER magazine's yearly census, slashfiction ranked as the highest form of literary entertainment of 2006 for young insecure boys, perverted teenage girls and yet-to-be-convicted pedophiles. The genre of sSlashfiction first spawned from a typo in a Mills and Boons romance novelette. Though the word "her" was misprinted as "his" on all 220 pages, this little misdeed was regarded as an accident by the printing company. The cover of the book promised intense man-on-woman action, but desperate housewives and adolescent girls all around the world got a taste of nothing but this morning's breakfast in their mouth.

Back in the day when people were not very open about homosexuality, slashfiction was the only way that gay young men could express their wildest fantasies over the Internet, as chatrooms were still monitored by the FBI for any signs of gay activity. Nowadays, those very same FBI agents are busy pretending to be underage girls to lure pedophiles into an orange prisoners' uniform. Today, slashfic'ing is a widely accepted hobby, and even found in popular culture. Check out this exerpt from Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Boner:

The troll couldn't feel Harry hanging there, but even a troll will notice if you
stick a long bit of wood up its nose, and Harry's wang had still been in his
hand when he'd jumped - it had gone straight up one of the troll's nostrils. He
bent down and pulled his wang out of the troll's nose. It was covered in what
looked like lumpy gray glue.

Even J. K. Rowling could not resist the temptation of adding some "slash" into her "fic". A quick look at C's My Document's folder suggests that Naruto and Hannibal Lector are currently the most popular subjects of slashfic'ing, with Kingdom Hearts being one of the least slash'd media. We think it is most likely because that in Kingdom Hearts, the heroes look like girls and the heroines are actually attractive enough to make a gay boy question his homosexuality and hot enough that a glimpse at their perfect CG body would make the gayest teenage boy's boner reach the moon.

For anyone who's eager to experiment with slashfiction, whether it is using it as sexy-time material or becoming the next world-famous slashfiction writer, here are a few tips for you:

1) Always make sure it is 18+
2) There must be at least 3 male characters, with at least 2 of them under 13
3) There should be 4 paragraphs just describing their emotions when staring dreamily into each other's eyes
4) Girl characters turn out to be boys in disguise
5) Older brother and younger brother action will definitely win you an Oscar

Attached at the end of this post is one C wrote earlier. We warn that your innocence may be abruptly taken away from you and you may expel your most vital internal organs via your oral cavity during chapters 2, 6 and 13. If you do not wish to read 800 words on just the description of a twinkie, we recommend you skipping chapter 4. Happy slashfic'ing.

tlc_slashfic.txt (2.4Mb)

















That's right, there is no attached slashfic, you filthy pervert.