There is no C in Eragon

Mood: Malevolent
Currently watching: raindrops drip down the front door of the office

Eragon is a novel written by none other than Christopher Paolini during his teenage years when he was enduring the hard times of puberty and trying out various forms of dancemove-enhancing drugs. Eragon can be described as an unentertaining piece of literature, featuring a whiny boy named Eragon, of whom the book is named after.

The story is set in a green world of bacteria named Algaesia (many people thought this was a reference by Paolini to his homeland, Algeria, but infact it is not). Paolini named the fantasy world so because at the time the town scientist had a unhealthy obsession with algae and ultimately caused the overgrowth of the disgusting mossy filth to take over the entire city.

From the outset, Eragon appears to be a story about good dragon riders versus evil dragon riders and sexy fairies, but this book is actually a very deep and provides meaningful insight into humanity. There are references in this book to historical events like the Watergate Scandal involving ex-president Richard Nixon and also the release of the first Star Wars movie (which happened to be the fourth). George Lucas did not press full charges, as he is an avid supporter of all fantasy literature written to bring down the Lord of the Rings franchise - the "Star Wars" of the fantasy world.

Eragon underwent a film adaptation in 2006 in the film of the same name, Eragon. This film received rave reviews and won a substantial amount of awards for being:

Worst Lord of the Rings clone of 2006

Worst fantasy film featuring a whiny pansy

Worst fantasy film of 2006

Worst attempt at medieval comedy

Best film to feature a character named Durza

Worst dressed main character

Best fantasy film to feature a male lead portraying a loser

And indeed, nobody from The Letter C went to see this filth and we sat around the office making jokes to put into this post on the day of its release. Binja (our mascot ninja) was given a copy of the book to read for parody material but unfortunately he did a ninja on us (no pun intended) and left for Akihabara the next morning to purchase a modded PS3 for the office. The book now serves as a nice wedge beneath Icebox (our 1337speaking barfridge) because he complained about the carpet scraping his power supply.

Of course, in true satirical fashion, every member of the office will pretend they saw this crappy fantasy film and give their one-sentence review:

"Eragon was the best film I've ever seen, it really brought me back to my
high school days, we read it in English and I remember absolutely falling in
love with the boo-" - Arthur Arthurson (who has been fired for abusing commas to prolong his sentence and publicly admitting to liking this horrible piece of literature)

"Nanikore? Eeto... ee... ano... payrise ni tsuite? sou... hai, hai, onegai yo!" - Binja (who we contacted over the phone, but C was not around to translate for us *edit: we found out Binja was asking for a payrise and consequently we have hired an assassin)

"Look, guys, I'll do anything... ANYTHING but see that movie. Seriously, look, I will even d-" - C (whose sentence had to be cut short because the situation became very serious. C is now under 24 hour surveillance after attempting to commit seppuku with a frisbee and a DDR mat at the same time)

"4NY0N6 H453`/0 3R4G0N 15 4 CR4PP`/ F1LM H453`/0" - Icebox (whose Korean 1337speak is better than any other bar fridge we've come across)

"LOLOLOLOLLL I LOVE ERAGON (L)" - gwo (who had to explain to C for about 3 hours that he was only joking)

"I would rather sit through 40 hours of videoblogs than watch that *&^%, and then follow it up with another 40 hours of Today Tonight, but I'd probably just go play World of Warcraft." - lifeless (yes, that is his screenname)

"I'm going to go play DOTA." - jaychouf4n (we don't know who this guy is but his comment made it here somehow)

"Well, you can't really compare Eragon to Star Wars or anything like that. In my humble opinion, I think it's unfair to the producers because this film adaptation took a lot of effort and I am sure there are people out there who like the film. But of course, even just looking around the office, we have people of different walks of life and naturally we would have diffe-" - D (it was a mistake to ask D, and now he won't shut up, as we're adding the final touches to this post, the idiot is still having a philosophical rant)

And thus ends our review on Eragon, worst film of 2006. Cheers to a new age of film critique.

**DISCLAIMER: Most, but not all, of The Letter C's staff are imaginary and were created for comic purposes. We cannot reveal who is real and who is not, but D maintains that he is indeed real and much moreso than the rest of us. Someday that kid will have a Guitar Hero controller smacked over the back of his head.

C is for Camera

Mood: Ecstatic
Currently taking photos of: my Camerablog

Ph33r my amazing leet skillz! Click the link to my Camerablog above! A link also exists on the sidebar! They are not linked to new windows because my Camerablog has a link back to here. Smartypants!

MSPaint rendition of C, by Jayne

Visit C.jpg for extremely awesome photography. My best photos are chosen and uploaded in a nice no-text flurry of imagery. Note that the template came with an absolutely kickass effect. Click on the photos in the posts and they will automatically zoom into your entire screen to full size! Javascript is required.

Today is a great day for my photojournalist career. I resolved to whore more pics and to archive them at high resolution (1.2megapixels constitutes as "high" for me since they exceed the generally popular 1024 x 768 screen resolution) and whatnot and now I have a camerablog! Well on the way to becoming a photojournalist or professional photowhore or paparazzi! Winnar!

C is for Click to Zoom http://cisforcamera.blogspot.com/

C is for 2007

Mood: ^_^
Currently listening to: wooshing background sound on Warcraft III

Year 2007, a year predicted to come forth after 2006 ends has indeed, as the all-knowing calendar tells us, has indeed come into fruition (what a horrible and unoriginal expression). People all around the world and even on our neighbouring planets celebrate the coming of the new year in their own fashion. The Chinese, for example, like to be special and celebrate their new year 2 and a half months after everybody else. Nobody knows why this is so, but some Asian Studies majors have written garbage essays suggesting that the Chinese are indeed aliens and arrived on Earth after everybody else.

For Elves, a new year means another trip to the Fountain of Youth where they refill their elixirs. For geeks, it will be another year of signing petitions for another Star Wars movie and another year in their parents' basement playing paper Dungeons & Dragons. This ongoing tradition will surely go for many years to come until people get sick of it, as it is with all things.

And for some, the new year is not just about the rave party or the marijuana sessions, but a time for them to re-evaluate their existence and make resolutions for the new year. According to a recent study by Claire Voynt (2005), only 5% of these resolutions are kept 100% of the time by only 24% of people who make them. Since everyone at The Letter C office are mature students of the art, with the exception of Binja (our resident ninja mascot) and Icebox (our talking bar fridge that only speaks 1337speak in Korean and Klingon), we have decided to list some of our own resolutions here for your entertainment.

Please be aware that the "more" and the "less" is just a gag and is only accurate in 99% of the resolutions. Here goes, The Letter C's New Year Resolutions:

1. Pray more

2. Exercise more

3. Exercise grace more

4. Care less

5. Be indifferent more

6. Game more

7. Have less of a life more

7. Talk in 1337speak less

7. Repeat myself less

8. Say "lol" in real life less

9. Zone out less more

10. Secretly wish I could breakdance less

11. Yell "multikill" in real life less

12. Be cruel to telemarketers less

13. Get metro'd up less

14. Learn to cook cheesecake more

15. Eat Japanese food more

16. Get out of my parents' basement more

17. Look directly into the sun less

18. Make witty remarks about other people more or less

19. Make out with mirrors less

20. Drink alcohol less

21. Game less

22. Tell people I've travelled across Europe more

23. Tell people I've travelled across America less

24. Be an r-tard more

25. Wish I was a girl less

26. Sleep more

27. Dream about gothic lolitas less

28. Want to get a Hello Kitty tattoo more

29. Buy useless crap on ebay more

30. Drive like an Asian less

31. Dress Hongky less

32. Listen to English music more

33. Be in denial about being a geek more

34. Talk in a Japanese schoolgirl voice less

35. Giggle like a Japanese schoolgirl more

36. Beg people to donate to me for a lifetime (yes, lifetime) subscription to TIME Magazine more

37. Pick up TIME Magazine in waiting rooms and pretend to understand and appreciate it less

38. Borrow stuff from my friends and not return it more

39. Design cool T-Shirts more

40. Procrastinate less

41. Finish what I start more

42.

If you believe any of the above to be true, then perhaps you have not noticed the satire tag on this post. The Letter C would like to acknowledge that the satire tag is our shield against justice and it nullifies any legal action you might wish to take upon us. Some of those resolutions may well indeed be true and with the "more" and "less" mixed up to be deliberately misleading. The fun will be picking out the real ones and then telling me about it so I don't have to go out of my way to think about something to talk about. There will be no prize involved. And no, the prize remark was not satire and was the whole truth.

Happy New C ｴﾍje―ｦｾ ≧▽≦ says: hapy new yaer!

Ew, that Japanese did not come out well.