C is for 2007

Mood: ^_^
Currently listening to: wooshing background sound on Warcraft III

Year 2007, a year predicted to come forth after 2006 ends has indeed, as the all-knowing calendar tells us, has indeed come into fruition (what a horrible and unoriginal expression). People all around the world and even on our neighbouring planets celebrate the coming of the new year in their own fashion. The Chinese, for example, like to be special and celebrate their new year 2 and a half months after everybody else. Nobody knows why this is so, but some Asian Studies majors have written garbage essays suggesting that the Chinese are indeed aliens and arrived on Earth after everybody else.

For Elves, a new year means another trip to the Fountain of Youth where they refill their elixirs. For geeks, it will be another year of signing petitions for another Star Wars movie and another year in their parents' basement playing paper Dungeons & Dragons. This ongoing tradition will surely go for many years to come until people get sick of it, as it is with all things.

And for some, the new year is not just about the rave party or the marijuana sessions, but a time for them to re-evaluate their existence and make resolutions for the new year. According to a recent study by Claire Voynt (2005), only 5% of these resolutions are kept 100% of the time by only 24% of people who make them. Since everyone at The Letter C office are mature students of the art, with the exception of Binja (our resident ninja mascot) and Icebox (our talking bar fridge that only speaks 1337speak in Korean and Klingon), we have decided to list some of our own resolutions here for your entertainment.

Please be aware that the "more" and the "less" is just a gag and is only accurate in 99% of the resolutions. Here goes, The Letter C's New Year Resolutions:

1. Pray more

2. Exercise more

3. Exercise grace more

4. Care less

5. Be indifferent more

6. Game more

7. Have less of a life more

7. Talk in 1337speak less

7. Repeat myself less

8. Say "lol" in real life less

9. Zone out less more

10. Secretly wish I could breakdance less

11. Yell "multikill" in real life less

12. Be cruel to telemarketers less

13. Get metro'd up less

14. Learn to cook cheesecake more

15. Eat Japanese food more

16. Get out of my parents' basement more

17. Look directly into the sun less

18. Make witty remarks about other people more or less

19. Make out with mirrors less

20. Drink alcohol less

21. Game less

22. Tell people I've travelled across Europe more

23. Tell people I've travelled across America less

24. Be an r-tard more

25. Wish I was a girl less

26. Sleep more

27. Dream about gothic lolitas less

28. Want to get a Hello Kitty tattoo more

29. Buy useless crap on ebay more

30. Drive like an Asian less

31. Dress Hongky less

32. Listen to English music more

33. Be in denial about being a geek more

34. Talk in a Japanese schoolgirl voice less

35. Giggle like a Japanese schoolgirl more

36. Beg people to donate to me for a lifetime (yes, lifetime) subscription to TIME Magazine more

37. Pick up TIME Magazine in waiting rooms and pretend to understand and appreciate it less

38. Borrow stuff from my friends and not return it more

39. Design cool T-Shirts more

40. Procrastinate less

41. Finish what I start more

42.

If you believe any of the above to be true, then perhaps you have not noticed the satire tag on this post. The Letter C would like to acknowledge that the satire tag is our shield against justice and it nullifies any legal action you might wish to take upon us. Some of those resolutions may well indeed be true and with the "more" and "less" mixed up to be deliberately misleading. The fun will be picking out the real ones and then telling me about it so I don't have to go out of my way to think about something to talk about. There will be no prize involved. And no, the prize remark was not satire and was the whole truth.

Happy New C ｴﾍje―ｦｾ ≧▽≦ says: hapy new yaer!

Ew, that Japanese did not come out well.