Piracy is a fancy word for the crime known as theft. It is more commonly known as "What your Asian neighbour was up to all week" and is ranked in second spot on the Top 5 Asian Misdeeds of your Typical Asian Immigrant. While piracy is frowned upon by clergymen, song artists and Nintendo, it is encouraged and widely practised by schoolchildren, housewives and cheap university students who think photocopying the entirety of a 500 page textbook is "ok".
Since the turn of the millenium, piracy has turned from a crime into an artform, with the most bizarre things being "pirated" - ranging from advertisement boards, ninjas and domesticated monkeys at the zoo. Fake versions of all these things can now be easily bought at a discount price from any Asian hawker at your nearby shopping plaza.
The true elaboracy of the history of piracy may not be fully known to all, but it is understandable, as only a small portion of pirates are interested in the ancient Chinese traditions behind this lost ritual. During the Kam Fuk Dynasty, a man was measured in society according to size of his pirated music records collection. When a young Wimp Pe Feh invented the CD burner, young girls all over China lusted for him and his newfound power to pirate anything he wished. Feh soon went on to invent the French toast burner to create imitation French toast (without the need for oil, egg, butter nor bread) and also the underrated water burner (which made water out of... well, nothing at all). Contrary to popular belief, Wimp Pe Feh did not invent the Bunsen burner, as this device does not bootleg anything at all.
What began as humble beginnings for a rather not-so-well-hung Asian man, has now become a worldwide phenomenon. Piracy has developed a large cult following, with even your average computer-illiterate dummy being able to commit theft with a few clicks of their computer mouse. The reason piracy is so attractive is because of the difficulty in catching the culprits, since anyone who owns a computer/knows someone who owns a computer/has Internet access is already deemed a suspect/guilty/headed to jail/headed for the fiery depths of hell.
There is one solution to combat piracy, however: bring in enough ninjas to lay down the beatdown (if this sounded corny to you, then you forgot to stress the "lay" and the "beat" and probably didn't have Tekken music playing in the background).
24 February, 2007
TLC puts the C in Piracy
21 February, 2007
TLC Crackdown: Gay gamers
Doesn't my hair look so good?
Er, I'm sorry.. what? No, I'm not in the photo.
>_>
# SENSUAL R&B MUSIC #
15 February, 2007
TLC Crackdown: War on Anti-World of Warcraft-ism
Session Start: Thursday, 15 February 2007
Participants: ...-kun" [/cwong] ISO: WoW CD + Account (chibiwong@hotmail.com) (F) gwo™:. (L)
[7:33:18 PM] [cwong] char: i'm gonna play wrodl of warcraft
man
:)
[7:33:31 PM] (F) gwo™:. (: ROFL
ZOMG YOU NOOB
PLEASE DONT
[7:40:40 PM] [cwong] char: i am going to
i think JC doesn't play anymore
im gonna steal his account
lol
[7:41:02 PM] (F) gwo™:. (: dude that wasnt funny
[7:41:30 PM] [cwong] char: dude
i'm not trolling
i am dead serious
[7:41:39 PM] (F) gwo™:. (: dude you rollsrs
dont try and eb funny
[7:41:48 PM] [cwong] char: i watched ep 8
haven't got ep 9 yet
[7:41:56 PM] (F) gwo™:. (: its boring
8 > 9
[7:42:03 PM] (F) gwo™:. (: but 9 made me angry i guess
[7:42:57 PM] [cwong] char: k
[7:43:01 PM] [cwong] char: shhhh
[7:43:09 PM] (F) gwo™:. (: ROFL SHUT UP DONT PLAY WOW
[7:43:12 PM] [cwong] char: NOOOO
[7:43:19 PM] (F) gwo™:. (: DUDE
[7:43:20 PM] [cwong] char: if i can't get JC's discs + account by tomo
rorw
[7:43:21 PM] (F) gwo™:. (: YOULL BE FATTY
[7:43:22 PM] [cwong] char: i'm going out to buy them
no man i'm only gonna play a month at a time
[7:43:35 PM] (F) gwo™:. (: YOU going TO buy BURNING crusade?
[7:43:46 PM] [cwong] char: nope
not until later on
[7:43:59 PM] (F) gwo™:. (: YOU FAGGOT
[7:44:05 PM] (F) gwo™:. (: NO RESPECT EVER AGAIN
[7:46:13 PM] [cwong] char: plz
:(
[7:46:26 PM] (F) gwo™:. (: noever again
NOT EVER EVER
[7:46:51 PM] [cwong] char: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO
[7:46:51 PM] (F) gwo™:. (: srsly
[7:47:31 PM] [cwong] char: k.
:(
[7:47:57 PM] (F) gwo™:. (: SO DONT PLAY
[7:48:08 PM] (F) gwo™:. (: chrasto
[7:49:04 PM] [cwong] char: OMG
[7:49:15 PM] (F) gwo™:. (: HO HO HO
MERRY CHRISTMAS JEW
[7:54:06 PM] [cwong] char: lol
sup nab
[7:54:16 PM] (F) gwo™:. (: YOU SUCK YOU WoW
NERD
[7:54:31 PM] [cwong] char: ROFL
TRICKED
[7:54:36 PM] (F) gwo™:. (: ROFL
NAH
YOU WERE GAY BOY
[7:54:46 PM] [cwong] char: noooooooooooooooooo
[7:54:50 PM] (F) gwo™:. (: I DONT BELIEVE YOU NOW
[7:54:55 PM] [cwong] char: :'(
[7:55:07 PM] (F) gwo™:. (: HIGH PAIRS
[7:55:07 PM] (F) gwo™:. (: YOU SUCKSORS
[7:56:18 PM] [cwong] char: :(
[7:56:43 PM] (F) gwo™:. (: ITS OVER ITS OVER NOW
[7:58:26 PM] [cwong] char: noooooooo
[7:58:32 PM] (F) gwo™:. (: ITS OVER
[8:06:10 PM] [cwong] char: nooo
[10:05:23 PM] [cwong] char: i just downloaded 1gb worth of patches for
WoW
[10:05:30 PM] (F) gwo™:. (: LMFAO
YOU LIAR
[10:06:35 PM] [cwong] char: no mate
i'm not kidding
do you need to see screenshots?
[10:06:49 PM] (F) gwo™:. (: ID RATHER NOT FAGGORT
[10:06:55 PM] [cwong] char: LOL
TROLLED
[10:07:03 PM] (F) gwo™:. (: FAGGORT
[10:07:06 PM] [cwong] char: its k
i'll name my character after you
[10:07:20 PM] (F) gwo™:. (: NEVERRRRRRR
[10:07:23 PM] [cwong] char: LOOLOLOLOL