Mood: Eh?
Currently listening to: Nothing
http://www.news.com.au/entertainment/story/0,23663,20834570-10229,00.html
Naomi Robson, Naomi Schmobson. Today is a great day for journalism. I dare say, every man, woman and child has been waiting for this news article since I don't know when. There is little doubt that a sick horse would make a better current affairs host than this woman.
Tata. I must continue work. Cheers to crappy journalism.
28 November, 2006
There is no C in Naomi Robson
24 November, 2006
There is no C in Gaia Online
Mood: Guilty
Currently listening to: Nothing
I feel extremely sads. Like, we're talking 10 sads here. More on that later. It is too deep to go on a blog of this nature and would like totally blow the world to pieces if I were to elaborate!
Let us examine the Wikipedia article for Gaia Online. Wikipedia is officially "on the rocks" and I no longer consider it a reliable source of information. But anyhow, let's read it and laugh at it!
Now, just from reading that gibberish, Wikipedia makes several things clear to the reader:
Currently listening to: Nothing
I feel extremely sads. Like, we're talking 10 sads here. More on that later. It is too deep to go on a blog of this nature and would like totally blow the world to pieces if I were to elaborate!
Let us examine the Wikipedia article for Gaia Online. Wikipedia is officially "on the rocks" and I no longer consider it a reliable source of information. But anyhow, let's read it and laugh at it!
Gaia Online is an anime and games site. It was opened to the public on February 18, 2003 by Gaia Interactive, a group earlier known as AniHQ, consisting of Derek Liu and some of his business partners.
Users of the site, known as Gaians, are able to create a customizable avatar, for which they can purchase outfits using gaia gold, which is earned by browsing the site, playing games, and posting on the forums.As the site is free, there are some ways the administrators have set up to gain revenue - these include Gaia-themed posters, shirts and hats. They also give donors
in-game rewards of limited-edition gifts.
Now, just from reading that gibberish, Wikipedia makes several things clear to the reader:
- Gaia online is an anime and games site.
- Users of the site are known as Gaians.
- Gaians are able to create a customizable (spelt with a 'z', clearly American) avatar.
- Gaians can purchase outfits using gaia gold.
- Gaia gold is earned by browsing the site, playing games, and posting on the forums.
- The site is free.
- They give donors in-game rewards of limited-edition gifts.
All of this sounds strangely familiar doesn't it? Yes, it would appear that all of the following "RPG fads" also have these very same features: Ragnarok Online, AdventureQuest, MapleStory, Gunbound, MapleQuest, Adventurebound, MapleStory Online, Gaiabound, Final Fantastory, RPG Clone 42, Final Fantasy Online: We are serious about Final this time, Final Fantasy Online: Sorry consumer but we lied to you, and last but not least, Myspace.
Additionally, I think that to describe Gaia Online as an "anime and games site" is rather vague. It is in fact a forum that is 90% desperate geeks, and 10% girls who just want to have fun and make friends. Not only that, but you can also play horribly presented Flash games. I was coaxed into going fishing by some stupid popup speech bubble. And when you see the room listing (reminiscent of Yahoo! Games), only then will you begin to realize the sheer level of geekery that exists in Gaia Online. People are generally nice, but every now and then you will see a glimpse of the dark underground of the internets and meet the most dangerous type of geek: the zombie geek. These geeks have been around since the very beginning of the internets and lurked for many years until Gaia Online opened up. Then they joined up, but were very bad mannered so they got banned, but then they returned by changing their IP address. Hence the title of "zombie".
NOTE: I HAVE ALREADY BEEN HIT ON ALREADY. THIS IS CRAZY. IT'S ONLY DAY 3 AND THE CURSE OF THE FEMALE AVATAR IS ALREADY SHOWING. WELL, I MEAN, I DO LOOK REAL SEXY, BUT... I DIDN'T EXPECT THIS! OH, SAVE ME FROM THE HORDES OF DESPERATE GEEKS, SAVE ME!!! I DIDN'T CHOOSE TO BE A LOLITA JAPANESE SCHOOLGIRL, I PROMISE!
23 November, 2006
TLC puts the C in Twilight Princess
Mood: Bored
Currently listening to: The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya - Hare Hare Yukai
**NOTE: From now on, reference links may or may not redirect to Wikipedia because Uncyclopedia and Encyclopedia Dramatica are clearly better and more crude and contain an infinitely higher level of satirical content. In order to fully appreciate this surprise change of protocol, my dear reader, you will have to mouseover the links to see where they go, or just click them all and see where you go.
As we all know, The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess was released several days ago in North America for the Nintendo Wii. Many uglie nerds sold everything they owned to line up at their local game store to line up and be one of the first people in the world to obtain this epic RPG title.
This is a common spectacle and is known as the Desperate Nerd Addiction Effect, not to be confused with that "other" desperate nerd addiction effect. It was first observed by video game kiosk owner Kyon Koizumi back in 1997 at the release of Final Fantasy VII (Warning: this is not a Wikipedia link and may contain extreme satire sprinkled with sick and tasteless jokes). Other video game kiosk owners in Japan began to add their findings to the Japanese Otaku Surveillance Activity Journal (Article not found). The "DNA" effect was reported to have occurred at the release of Final Fantasy VIII, IX, X, XII, XIII, Fanta Finalsy Revolution, Final Pacmantasy, Final Fantacraft IV, World of Final Fantacraft and has also been predicted to occur in its most severe form ever when the Playstation 3 is released. It should be noted that almost nobody turned up on the day of Final Fantasy XI's release, simply because it sucked and was the worst RPG ever released for a console. Yes, even worse than that really sucky one. You know the one I mean.
Professor Ukato Desho from Kwansei Gakuin University commented in his annual report in 2005, "This is nothing special and happens all the time everywhere in the world. However, I find it startling that white people, especially Americans, could emulate the otaku stereotype that was previously thought to only exist in Japan. Many of my colleagues find this to be an alarming precedence but think that it is funny. Nobody would have guessed that uglie nerds would dare show their faces in public for the purpose of obtaining a video game on its release date. You would think that they could wait until the hype dies down. I mean, if I were in their position, I would rather wait a little while so that nobody would see me go to the store. Wouldn't you?" Yes Professor, I certainly would.
Currently listening to: The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya - Hare Hare Yukai
**NOTE: From now on, reference links may or may not redirect to Wikipedia because Uncyclopedia and Encyclopedia Dramatica are clearly better and more crude and contain an infinitely higher level of satirical content. In order to fully appreciate this surprise change of protocol, my dear reader, you will have to mouseover the links to see where they go, or just click them all and see where you go.
As we all know, The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess was released several days ago in North America for the Nintendo Wii. Many uglie nerds sold everything they owned to line up at their local game store to line up and be one of the first people in the world to obtain this epic RPG title.
This is a common spectacle and is known as the Desperate Nerd Addiction Effect, not to be confused with that "other" desperate nerd addiction effect. It was first observed by video game kiosk owner Kyon Koizumi back in 1997 at the release of Final Fantasy VII (Warning: this is not a Wikipedia link and may contain extreme satire sprinkled with sick and tasteless jokes). Other video game kiosk owners in Japan began to add their findings to the Japanese Otaku Surveillance Activity Journal (Article not found). The "DNA" effect was reported to have occurred at the release of Final Fantasy VIII, IX, X, XII, XIII, Fanta Finalsy Revolution, Final Pacmantasy, Final Fantacraft IV, World of Final Fantacraft and has also been predicted to occur in its most severe form ever when the Playstation 3 is released. It should be noted that almost nobody turned up on the day of Final Fantasy XI's release, simply because it sucked and was the worst RPG ever released for a console. Yes, even worse than that really sucky one. You know the one I mean.
Professor Ukato Desho from Kwansei Gakuin University commented in his annual report in 2005, "This is nothing special and happens all the time everywhere in the world. However, I find it startling that white people, especially Americans, could emulate the otaku stereotype that was previously thought to only exist in Japan. Many of my colleagues find this to be an alarming precedence but think that it is funny. Nobody would have guessed that uglie nerds would dare show their faces in public for the purpose of obtaining a video game on its release date. You would think that they could wait until the hype dies down. I mean, if I were in their position, I would rather wait a little while so that nobody would see me go to the store. Wouldn't you?" Yes Professor, I certainly would.
In conclusion, I label this post with about a 5% relevance to Twilight Princess and a 95% relevance to absolute garbage, and a neverbefore witnessed 110% to uglie nerds. I sign out cuz my satire is on the rocks and has begun its rapid decline into Unfunnyville, the neighbouring suburb of Unsatiricalville. Heck, I don't even know what the hell I just wrote.
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